For everyone out there who feels scared in their life right now, it is okay.
I have dealt with a sickness and my doctors told me a long time ago that I could really just pass at any time, and I am still alive and I feel better than ever. It made me grateful for the things I have gone through in a profoundly odd way. I approach people with sentiment and empathy. I was watching a t.v. show where this lady was diagnosed with cancer and she thought it was odd that she was feeling empathy for those around her. He told her that this was a common thing for people who have been close to death, and they start to have a change of heart.
But I often wonder why. You see, I’ve always felt empathetic, even before this illness became such a big part of my life. It is not bad to want to help those around you and be there for them. But I wonder what can make people have a change of heart in moments like that, and not bitter that there are healthier people around them?
I think it just comes to the energy it takes. It can take a lot of energy to be envious or hateful and deceitful of those around you than it does to just accept the idea that life is hard, and most of us are doing our best to make it through the day. I know that some people say that being rude around others is easier than being kind; and I get that, if you’re being walked over. But I think it is easier to be around others and for them to be around you when you do approach them with a good heart and kind words. I think it is easier when you approach others with a softness, rather than a rolling tongue and thunder. I think it is easier because it loosens the tension of the wars you’re fighting inside of yourself, when you just let yourself be and let yourself feel.
When you stop focusing so hard on the attitude and function of those around you, I think it is easier to not be judgmental and angry. I think being calm puts peace in your heart. It can be difficult, really – but it can be so worth it. I think it can be easier simply because it can help the world move. When people are scared to approach someone because that person may often ignite their surroundings with a tongue of fiery, it temporarily stops the cogs in the world from moving. People stop and think how to approach that person, or go to some else, and all of that truly seems more difficult than to stop, think, and be kinder with our words. In the best idea of ourselves, as well as our peers.
I think life is meant to have friendships and relationships, bonding over ideas or feelings that you share. I think that a lot of things in life are really built on a shared idea, like ice cream and cones or peanut butter and jelly.
So I guess I’m here to celebrate this length of time I still have been alive, because I feel like I have a voice I want to share. I think that everyone’s thoughts are so valuable and precious, and that everyone should have the chance to share them.
I find that my voice lies in the strength that came with my actions. I never gave up on my goals. When I fell, I literally stood right up. When things were difficult and I was left confused, I always pulled myself up. When I was scared of the future when my body was in pain, I turned my fear into hope and just keep going.
I did things like this and moved forward so aggressively sometimes, because overall – I feared having regrets when I would become older about not being alive. Sometimes I tell myself to live as much as I can today. and the next.
What we fear is truly what we don’t know. The future can be terrifying, but what we can do right now has so much potential to shape our future (minds, bodies, or overall place in life).